Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rules of Healing

I am sure that everyone who has ever healed can quote us the three rules of healing. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. So these old rules, while they were good rules, have failed us in the modern age of the random PuG players who do not care about performing well. So I would like to present a new set of rules!

The three simple rules that we use to live by and die by:

1. If the tank dies, then it is the healer's fault.
2. If the healer dies, then it is the tank's fault.
3. If the DPS died, it is their own fault.

I am to the point where I think we can safely thow these rules out the window! These rules are only valid with people who care about their performance in a group. With the advent of the random PuG system, it is clearly plain to see that no one cares for anyone but theirself. So, what should the new rules of healing be?

1. If you die, it is your own fault.

Yeah, I think this sums it up pretty much. If you die, then it is your own fault. Basically Mr. Speed Demon Tank, if you charge into the big boss mob and your healer is busy regenerating mana (do healers struggle with that?), rezzing a party member, or whatever else; and you die, then it is your own damn falt. You better either slow down or check in with your healer to see if they feel like running at ninety miles an hour. Mr. Burst Crazy Mage and Paladin, if you draw aggro, I hope you have a good bank account to cover your repair cost. Mr. Underpeforming DPS, if you are low on the charts, it is nothing personal but it is better to try to keep someone up who can actually down the boss.

2. If you do not like the group, then leave.

This seems completely out of place for healer rules right? Well, not really. I have learned that when I tag myself as a healer I immediately get into groups. Upon entering the group I do a quick looksie over the group and if I notice that I am way overgeared I leave. I am not being elitest, but I am tired of carrying bad groups and getting aggrevated at their ignorance. Not everyone cares about performing well or understanding the game, and that is cool if you want to play that way. It does not mean that I have to tolerate you, especially if I do not know you. I have also seen so many horrible Druid tanks lately that I leave immediately when I see one. I do not want to waste my time trying to figure out if you are good or not. It is easier to go do something else and wait for the debuffs to fall off of me.

3. When you die, run back.

That is right, if you die, you need to run your ghost ass back to your corpse. I may or may not feel like rezzing you. If you drew aggro on yourself, then chances are you are running back. That way you have time to review your death and learn from the mistake. Mr. Bad Ass Tank, if you died, then you can run back because it signals that the only thing bad about your character is the play style.

Those look like three pretty damn good rules to me. Now I know that a lot of folks may think that this is kind of a dick way to play. I honestly do not care. Unfortunately, since I am stuck with random people, the rules have to change in order to offer me peace of mind. Now I am not saying that you need to stick with these rules. You may have additional rules or may wish to tweak these rules. Who knows, I may come up with more rules as I continue my healing expedition in PuGland. So what about you other healers? What rules do you now go by? Do you still use the three outdates rules or have you made some new rules as well?


Alex said...

wonderful rules of life my friend.

Ruhtra said...

I like these rules. I may add them at the top of the blog, just in case we need to amend them.

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Andrea said...

You've gotta look out for yourself you know? After all, we are paying to play this game for our own entertainment. If you aren't enjoying it, what's the point in playing? Glad to see you're still writing, I'll be checking in still!

Vailladin said...

Rule 1
DPS have been spoiled as of late, they run in before the tank and mash away with no concern for their agro or health.
I feel bad for them when Cataclysm comes and they have to learn agro control again or god forbid these people get into an ICC group, have fun dying on trash.

Rule 2
I’m only doing my once-a-day heroic for the frost. If I have to carry them I will, just to get it done so I can go do some fun stuff! I know I can do fun stuff for 15 min and re queue and they defiantly don’t learn anything by being carried... I am not sure what that makes me, lazy, a jerk, an ass hat and enabler?

I think rule 3 has been happening a lot. In the last week I have started to notice tanks and DPS respecting and sometimes fearing their healers even before the healer says anything. Maybe I have been getting lucky with my groups.

If enough healers follow these rules people will realize real fast that the healer is in control of the group, not the tank.

The only one that can truly stop you from dying is the healer. The tanks and DPS can delay it to an extent but without the healer survivability drops into the negatives.

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Zeb said...

New Rule: Let the tank, y'know, tank! Any dps who pulls mobs can die. I won't heal you anymore.